Week 3, Part 1: The Lightning and the Shade

I recently watched the early 00's show "The Book Group," which proved interesting. I mention the show because it's about a group of people who love books, and most of them are writers. This one phrase kept being thrown around, and it got me thinking: "The most important thing is that you just show up at the page." I've been dabbling in poetry since high school, and I've been trying my hand at myriad forms of writing: this being one of them. Recently, though, I've been showing up at the page, and it's amazing what can happen when you just think about something and just start typing. As of now, I have written 24 pages of a novel that I hope will serve as catharsis for me and those I love. It's recounting my journey to self-discovery, my battles with society and traditional culture, and my struggle to come to terms with my homosexuality and the world's view of it. And every time I sit down and start typing, things come out of me that I never thought of. I admit things I haven't said out loud, and I start to see things differently. Of course, all the events are through my tinted paradigm, but seeing it written before me has made me realize how faulty I can be. More importantly, it has made me realize how weak, immature, stubborn, and selfish I have been. I have come a far way from being weak and immature, but I've still got vices to wrestle. Writing has provided me a way to heal and re-evaluate, and sometimes it's tough to be so frank with myself. I guess that's why they kept saying showing up was the hardest part, because sometimes you delve inside yourself and get scared by what you find.